Come what may

Life is funney honney _

2007-12-15T02:37:16Z

Sooooo....
I went to this party with my Estonian Neighbor Maria and this other guy,
the guy was nice, untill he got drunk *_*
There I met this other guy, with whom I worked in london,
who gave me hes phone number.
The first guy got so drunk I walked him to hes home.
Thank god he lives real close.
on the way back home I met this otehr guy who saw me at the party
who dumped hes friends and walked me home,
theeeeen he left me hes card so Ill call him if I wanna go to
Anna Kareninna Balett tomorrow...

Offcourse the card goes to the trash as soon as I finish
this post, and no more drunk guys (although somwhere in the middle of the way home
he decided to quit hehe)

What the fuck is wrong with this world? *_*

Its been a while _

2007-12-11T22:16:40Z

I had qite a few changes in my life lately-
moved an apartment-
Im on the Hahsmal street now-
YOU CAN SEE FRAU BLAUES butique out of my window!!!

Im working on a few new musical projects
ofcouse ill when there will be any gigs coming up
but that will take while.

And on the next weekend im gonna see a real LAMA
for the first time in my life :)

Wish me good luck!

GOODBYE!

2007-08-22T10:33:45Z

Yes-You all ehared right-
I have decided to leave Fatum Aeternum.
After almoust two years of cleboration
sweat, tears, histeria and fun
I have simply ran out.

Fatum Aeternum WILL continue without me-
they already have two new showes schedualed
and are curently looking for a female singer-
So if your intrested-or know anyone who is-
be my guest!!!!

Our Last show at the barby was AMAZING!
we have managed to reach new hights....

OK! Before I satrt crying-
there you go-
I said in....
Fatum turned out not so Aeternum for me :)

To those who may not knwo yet...

2007-08-21T11:57:30Z

I work as a shipping assistant
at a firm that manufactures flag.
ANd what a joy it was to find out
today while doing the tracking numbers
for DHL, that I shipped a box to a whole
new company I have invented myself
"SHOW YOUR COLORS FAG co."

I wonder how will they react?
I mean.. I only eccidently left out one litle L hehehehe....
But how it changes the meanning!
One littel letter can change your day fro the better guys!
Start mistyping - and smile hahaha!

I HATE THIS!!!!

2007-08-17T20:54:55Z

Its 12 at night,
frieday...
AN Im sitting at the office
doing basicly NOTHING!!!

Screw the fact I wanted
to go out fr a derink or something-
I think Im gonna fall asleep on the keyboard.

WHY GOD WHY did you make america-
and even worse-israely companies that work with it? +_+

Dose any-one have a pillow?

One of these moments hah...

2007-05-10T08:52:47Z

Im sitting over a project,
and I feel as if my bones are squicking!

It always gets like that when
I cant make anything work.

FURIATING!
Thats what it is.

I cant make the photoshop CS
do what I want it to do-
wich is driving me insane,
im back to the start point
AGAIN after a few days of work.

Just feel like sitting down
and making all the patterns
by hand, instaed of the simple
mirror duplcation command in photoshop

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

Ill get back to work in a few minutes-
hopefully ill get it working somehow!

any ideas for a sticker?

2007-03-12T17:43:31Z

When Im in a good mood,
I start singin.
But then again I usualy
feel guilty when Im
in a good mood,
So you probably wount
catch me singing for more
then half an hour in a row.

Only imagine the confusion-
The feeling of happiness
feels to me like a prist drinking vine
even before the mornning prayer.

I mean-what will happen to me
if ill wake up happy every mornning-
and though many people tell me not
to worry too much about that option,
cause the chances of THAT happenning
are prity slight.

I wonder if my faith will be the
same as the drinking priest's-
bacome an alcoholic,
or a happy-holic in my case hehe...
Thers a funny thought.

a happyholic is probably someone
that wakes up every mornning
and even before thinking about
geting hes ass out of bed,
smiles to hiself and thinks
"what a lovely mornning".

OK!... I thought I had it there,
but I kind oh lost it.

Ill go paint my acurate cubes,
with the perfect perspective
and try writing some other time.

P.S.
Thers a common beliefe amongs
those wierd memals walking on two
(these days they talk on two,eat on two,
sometimes have sex on two and even can
sleep on two in highly crowded transports)
wich sayes that "heppy people"
dont wear watches or underware.

Now I dont wear a watch,
but I do wear underware-
so dose that make me a "half happy person"?

I dont know...
If you ask me the underware
probably have more percentage
in this "happy" equasion,
but I aint ready to give them up.

My interest collage. FUN!

2007-03-07T17:53:51Z

Create your own! Originally Written By ga_woo, Hosted and ReWritten by darkman424

the rotenning of the mind

2007-02-18T11:09:51Z

as you give to much to the soul.

BAlance is aperantly important :)

SHiting brais-wich is a basic every day
habbit by now is definatly useless.

Creativity takes courage-
wich is at times prity hard to find.
ANd the shaking of this little boat
on every wave is getting tiering.

Need to grow up-but where do you find the pills
that make you do that?

GOD! What a lazy soul...

THis girl thinks she can feed on thin air..

So what is left to do when the understanding
that something wich seemed so full,
is definatly empty ....

When words are forgetable,
just like promisses...

HOpe as fuel just gets you one step
closer to the cross,
and simple logic sayes nothing.

Although, wait...
I think the logic starts to talk...
it sayes-GO MAKE BREAKFAST YOU FOOL!

Life.. Death.. ANd all that is inbetween

2006-11-13T17:47:24Z

I was born in the summer-August 1985
another leo brought into the light of god.

Little I remember from my early childhood,
the smell of sheets, food beeing made...

EAting strawberies from the garden in the summer house.

After that-
I remember waiting-endlessly waiting for something.

PAitient inlightment I call it now,
then-I was staying silent, calm-not saying a word
about beeing unhappy with the situation.

Age 12-I started throwing glasses around the house-
5 minutes of compleet histeria and then-
all happy again.

I just wonder what makes a child so sad.

Everywhere I went I was looking,
searching with my eyes for something...
PErhaps someone.

I cant remember-only a blue print of the feeling left in me.

Age 14-running away from home,
"fell inlove" I said.
now I say BULLSHIT!

FOund somwhere to run away to.

Last time I ran away with the intention of NEVER coming back again.
Couldnt take it-every time the stress was too much to bare-
as if the walls of the house themselves were starting to close on me.

15-got involved with a guy that kept me calm for a while,
Calmy stayed with him till the age of 17, did some drugs
played in a few bands.

AGe 18-moved to the center,
spent two of the loneliest
months of my life living on a friends cauch.
Found my own apartment,
did well at a stupid job in a shoes store...
Bought mysefl my first designers jacket for 100 bucks.

Got into college, went working abroad for the summer,
rented an apartment - started getting friendly with people at the studies...
MOney money money money.......
Age 20-my head was about to epload.

Total depression-
nightmares at night and during the day
my mind started playing visios tricks on me
a psycologist saying I need to go on pills.

21-I dont know what IM doing wrong-
but I must be-
otherwise everything wouldnt be so fucked up in my head.

I hear people telling me - "everyone is searching"
"no one ever knowes"

Death-definatly.. some day.

WHen I kiss

2006-10-12T21:24:56Z

PIctures on your skin-
make me shiver with fire!

JUst realizing how scared I was to accept things as they are-
afreid il stick around for too long-get used to all the good with the bad.

RIght now Im sitting here and its just GOOOOOOOOOOOD!

WHatever it is that going on-its ok :)

IT makes me smile-
life is ok,u know?

ITs just FUCKING FINE!

HAHA!

Wish you all a good night-
and a GREAT WEEKEND!

Ola

DIGNITY!

2006-10-10T07:29:13Z

Dignity is the power to say NONO to bad things.

GOOD MORNING TO YA ALL!

check out my MYSPACE!

2006-08-04T05:54:27Z

http://www.myspace.com/hellafatum

NOthign intresting up yet but
hopefully wiht the time :)

Plannign on some musical projects
apart from the band-so hopefully
I'll hang something out there soon enough :)

Shabata Shalom

Me working...

2006-07-20T13:12:40Z

I started working in a clothes store-
you probably even know it-the THIRS EYE on shenkin street-
Indian cl;othes and yada yada yada.

Work bear-foot if you like,
smoke if you got time-
got reggey and bob dylan playing all day long.

6 hours shift-wich is totaly peachy
and a cool staff.

the whole staff is amde out of young/unsuccesfull artist of all kind-
we got and actres, two singers, two musicians and two designers.

Everythings going well-the managments is overjoyed with
the amount of shit I sell every day lol

Now just need to stop beeing late for work every day and Ill be fucking fine WOOHOO!

I wonder in what enviorments other people work...

blah...

2006-07-04T20:31:31Z

What's holding You back? (Amazing anime pics ^^)

MEMORIES hold you back! You miss something that left you in the past, and you want it back. You might have lost a love, a friend, or something greater. Memories haunt you and you can't seem to get them out of your head, no matter how hard you try. These memories interfere with your life. WHO YOU NEED: this person is probably always with you! Most likely a close friend who has grown to love you deeply, but feels sad that you don't seem to see them, because you are caught up in your memories. Congrats and please rate!
Take this quiz!

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damn.. DOsent make me fel any better :(

2006-07-04T19:52:07Z

What Smashing Pumpkins Song Are You?

You are "Fuck You: An Ode To No One"! You had your heart broken in the harshest way, and aside from being super-depressed you are furiously angry.
Take this quiz!

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Started reading a book about tantra...

2006-07-04T06:24:44Z

WHO CARES ABOUT THE SEX?
lol
It is talking about letting all as we know -go...

THat our "personalities" are just like a cross of lines that creates
one dot. But the dot is only in illusion made by allot of lines crossing hehe :)

we are apparently ONE BIG NOTHING!
amazing....

ANd only when we acknowledge that one big nothing that we are
we are complete love.. complete experience..
we are not even the experience itself
we are just an empty vessel - like the hollow flute
"god" is playing....

Now what do you say about that?

morning _

2006-07-03T06:41:13Z

Thank god-
Im starting to sound like me.
I wan OUT of this place.

A few months of saving and FUCK THAT SHIT!

out of here....

00000000

I got stuck In a vicios circle

2006-07-02T06:30:51Z

ANd I know the way out
but aint got enough guts yet to go through..

ANOYING? HELL YEH!

Obsessive compolsive they say.. Well CHE-THANKS!
NOw you make me feel alot better.

I understand the whole lameness of my position,
I feel like Im starting to behaive like my grandmother-
yes yes.. Now i learn to understand the past generaations lol

Atleast something good.

NAH! I know its all good-but at the moment im just going fucking crazy.
For some reason waiting for some elf to come iwth a magic stick
and transform it all to something better.

Well little girl-time to get the point HES NOT GONNA COME!

your on your own-and thats the best way it can be :)

obsessive compolsiive obsessive compolsive.... BLAH!

thank you and FUCK YOU ALL!

CAme to a funny conclution

2006-06-27T15:20:58Z

I DONT FUCKING TRUST PEOPLE!

oh I trust on the little things I dont realy care for
but when Im telling something important-
WOOHOOO!

FINE! Enough with this egony
Im not THAT fucking bad hehe

THanks to DEcapitated for the little advice
SO I woke up at 7 am today
and spent 3 hours at the beach
swimming in the cool water
and frying under the hot sun...

ANd then I actualy went to look for a job
even found one - will see how long Im gonna lest there :)

Wish me luck guys!

Engry...

2006-06-26T20:27:38Z

FUCKING ENGRY!

Dose this whole thing come from frustration?
I HATE LIFE!

Dont believe me when I smile to you and say its ok-
ITS SHIT!
just endless fucking shit.

YOU know when I did a mistake years ago...
I never thought its gonna get that bed.

The funniest thing is I cant
even fucking remember what the fuck did I do

FUNNY?
I agree with you complitely :)

CRAP! and those 6 precent do the whole difrence? ASSHOLES!

2006-06-26T05:41:16Z

You Are 26% Evil

A bit of evil lurks in your heart, but you hide it well.
In some ways, you are the most dangerous kind of evil.

How Evil Are You?

Intresting...

2006-05-13T08:05:02Z

You Are a Visionary Soul

You are a curious person, always in a state of awareness.
Connected to all things spiritual, you are very connected to your soul.
You are wise and bright: able to reason and be reasonable.
Occasionally, you get quite depressed and have dark feelings.

You have great vision and can be very insightful.
In fact, you are often profound in a way that surprises yourself.
Visionary souls like you can be the best type of friend.
You are intuitive, understanding, sympathetic, and a good healer.

Souls you are most compatible with: Old Soul and Peacemaker Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

Although I hvae problems conecting to people
and letting people in :(

I SUCK!
not hehe...

Happy shabath people.

OH! the tragedy

2006-04-30T20:57:30Z

Macaby tel-aviv lost to CSKA
DAMN! REaly hoped they would winn the final four-
they would make a fucking guiness recors GOD!

Oh well.. Moscow (CSKA) is my home-"town" lol
If you can call Moscow-the megapolis "town" hehe

Saw my sister yesterday,
been to my grandmothers today,
talked to bouth of my parantes.

This is a hard time for me-
time of alot of changfes,
alot of evaluations...
G\Feelt like CRAp lately,
just totaly going mental
but talking to all of them made me d\feel so good!
So loved, and well... Accepted wiht all my crap lol

FUNNY how my grandmother thinks Im just like her...

My friends were a real GREAT help to me recently lately aswell..
Reminds me of that beatless song-when I was younger
so much younger then today
I never needed any-bode helping any-way,
but now these days are gne and Im not so self asure...."

hehe!

We got two gigs-one in less then two weeks
the other in less them a month...

i dont know how-
but were gonna do it!

And were gonna do it big time-and enjoym it all the way

we all worked so hard for it, and FOR CUKS SAKE

we gucking deserve this!

So kisses to all of you
and to those who dont like kisses-HUGS!

Life works out-you jusnt need to let it!

O.

Start walking the earth child

2006-04-23T11:45:22Z

Its time-start walking the earth.
All these fairytales in your head-
mean nothing if they stay there!

Let the phisical world be your guied,
let your self-eccspresion be your magic.

Allways running away-
wanting to break-through
from all these phisical ties-
of the matirial world.

REmember you are running free-
no one but yourself can tain you.

What are you afreid of?

Stop asking yourself-
will anything ever be enough
stop holding to it
time to go
just take it as it comes.

I know you miss those days
when there was nothing but energy
I heard you feel not understood-
but did you ever actualy try to explain?

Time to start walking the earth
with nothing but yourself to hold you back
take off the mask of solitude
its time to let yourself be the light

Inlove with the moment
trimbling in the wind
those clishaes have brough you down-
time to open your eyes-
take the first step
its easy-just let it
come to you as you go...

embrace this phisical body
it was given to you for a reason
I know its hard to belive it

time to trust-the univers.